Audio: Mark Train, My Plumber Doesn't Make House Calls

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I'm seeking the scripts of Mark Train by Frank Kalil and Jay Taylor in their album My Plumber Doesn't Make House Calls about an interview of a passenger service representative discouraging train travels.
In addition to the previous post, this was recorded about 40 or 50 years ago with a series of comedy. Mark Train opened the interview saying, "You see, I have a problem, Sweetie, and don't know what to do about it." He discouraged passenger train travel. Some of his responses were "cab stools on flat cars" as a luxury accommodation, "rerouting between Fort Worth and Dallas, through Spokane," "rest room door coming off," and "conductor yelling 'Last call-ll aboard!'"

He took passengers' complaints as compliments. He talked about two crew men walking back and forth from one end of the car to the other, and one asked the other, "Feel like the car is coming loose?"

He closed with a statement, "Use the bathroom before getting on the train."

Has anyone heard this series or know the entire script of it? Please advise. is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to - An online railroad bookstore featuring a curated selection of new and used railroad books. Railroad pictorials, railroad history, steam locomotives, passenger trains, modern railroading. Hundreds of titles available, most at discount prices! We also have a video and children's book section. - An online model railroad bookstore featuring a curated selection of new and used books. Layout design, track plans, scenery and structure building, wiring, DCC, Tinplate, Toy Trains, Price Guides and more.